A comprehensive list of questions to help you prepare to give and receive feedback

Navigating the world of feedback can be a complex journey. It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, feedback is the compass that guides us toward improvement. It's the mirror that reflects our strengths and blind spots, helping team members become better versions of themselves. On the other, it can be uncomfortable, challenging, and even daunting for both the giver and the receiver.

Research shows that leaders often struggle with giving effective feedback. While feedback is vital for performance improvement, many leaders find it difficult to deliver it productively. According to a report by Gallup, only 21% of U.S. employees have received meaningful feedback in the last week.

In this guide, I share a set of questions designed to help leaders and teams prepare for giving and receiving feedback. These questions are not just about making the feedback process easier; they're about transforming it into a powerful tool for personal and team growth. So, let's embark on this journey of mastering the art of feedback.

Understanding the Feedback System

Before reviewing the questions, it's important to understand all the steps involved in the feedback process.

The Five R's Feedback model is a comprehensive approach to giving and receiving feedback to facilitate personal and team growth. It's a roadmap that guides you through the feedback process, ensuring it's constructive, meaningful, and effective.

The 5 R's Feedback Model includes five steps: Request, Receive, Reflect, Respond, and Resolve.

Here's a brief overview of each of the five-step:

Request: This is the first step where you identify the areas you want feedback on and ask for it. The questions related to this step help you define what kind of feedback you need and from whom. As a give, it's about being more open and approachable.

Receive: This step involves actively listening to the feedback without interrupting. The questions here guide you in fully understanding and acknowledging the input you receive. If you're giving feedback, the questions will help you deliver your feedback clearly and concisely.

Reflect: After receiving feedback, it's crucial to take some time to reflect on it. The questions in this step help you analyze the feedback and its implications. They invite both givers and recipients to reflect on their conversations.

Respond: This step involves providing a thoughtful response to the feedback. The questions here guide recipients in constructively responding and communicating their reflections and action plan. They'll also prepare givers to be more open to the givers' decision: which part of the feedback they'll consider and which they'll discard.

Resolve: The final step is about taking action based on the feedback. The questions related to this step help recipients outline the steps they plan to take for improvement. They also arm givers to support recipients without being intrusive.

The questions provided for each step are designed to help feedback givers and receivers navigate each stage effectively. They give structure to the feedback process, making it more manageable and productive.

Questions for the feedback recipient

Receiving feedback can be a challenging yet enlightening experience. The questions outlined here are intended to guide you, the feedback receiver, through each stage of the Five R's Feedback model. They will help you understand, reflect upon, and respond to the feedback with an open mind.

Request: Taking the Initiative

1. What specific areas do I want feedback on? Why?

2. Who is/are the best person/s to provide this feedback?

3. How can I clearly communicate what I need feedback on?

4. What kind of help do I need?

5. How can I make it easier for others to provide me with feedback?

Receive: Active Listening

1. How might I resist the urge to interrupt or defend myself?

2. How can I avoid dismissing feedback because it's hard to hear or disagree with?

3. What's keeping me from being fully present and listening to the feedback being given?

4. What clarifying questions can I ask to ensure I understand the feedback?

5. How can I show appreciation for the feedback given?

Reflect: Gaining Insights

1. What are the key points or themes in the feedback?

2. What are my initial reactions?

3. How does the feedback received align with my goals and values?

4. What are the potential implications of this feedback? How can I use it to improve?

5. How can I use this feedback to improve my relationships with others?

Respond: Constructive Replies

1. How can I constructively respond to the feedback?

2. What additional information or clarification do I need from the feedback giver?

3. How can I communicate my reflections and action plan to the feedback giver?

4. How can I ensure the feedback giver knows I value their perspective?

5. What is the best way and time to respond to the feedback?

Resolve: Commitment to Growth

1. What specific actions can I take based on the feedback?

2. How will I incorporate this feedback into my ongoing development plan?

3. What are the top three metrics that will help me track my progress?

4. Who can support/coach me in acting on this feedback?

5. How will I communicate my action plan and progress to the feedback giver?

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Questions for the feedback giver

Giving feedback is an art that requires tact, empathy, and clarity. The following questions are designed to guide you, the feedback giver, through each step of the Five R's of Feedback model. These questions will assist you in identifying the right time and manner to deliver feedback, ensuring it is received in the best possible way.

Request: Being Open

1. How can I encourage colleagues to seek feedback from me?

2. What areas do I feel competent to provide feedback on?

3. How can I avoid evaluating the individual instead of their work or behavior?

4. What kind of help does the person really need from me?

5. How can I prepare myself to provide constructive feedback?

Receive: Being Helpful

1. How can I ensure that my feedback is relevant and helpful?

2. How can I create a safe and open environment for giving feedback?

3. What are the top 3 issues I want to discuss to avoid confusing the receiver?

4. How can I communicate my feedback clearly and concisely so it is well-received?

5. What questions can I ask to ensure the recipient understands my feedback?

Reflect: Being Empathetic

1. How did the recipient react to my feedback?

2. Does the recipient's self-perception align with the feedback I provided?

3. What are the potential implications of my feedback?

4. How can my feedback lead to improvement for the recipient?

5. How has the conversation affected our relationship?

Respond: Being Humble

1. Am I prepared to receive feedback on my feedback?

2. How can I constructively respond to the recipient's reactions or questions about my feedback?

3. What additional information or clarification does the recipient need from me?

4. Am I open to the recipient rejecting all or most of my feedback?

5. How can I ensure the recipient knows I value their openness to feedback?

Resolve: Being Collaborative

1. What specific actions can I suggest based on the feedback?

2. How can I support the recipient without trying to control the process?

3. Who else can support the recipient in acting on this feedback?

4. How can the recipient and I touch base to discuss their progress?

5. What behaviors can I change on my end to help the receiver succeed?

Download your free copy of the set of questions in PDF format